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What's this? Why'd you call it- no, Sirius, stop I-
[ there's a pause, sounds of a struggle and what could probably pass as a triumphant laugh. ]
Right! Name's James Potter. 'pparently you can leave things here for me to read later? Brilliant.
Uh, what am I even supposed to say?
Wait, no, this is my bloody-
[ and the feed is cut off. blame sirius. ]
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he jumps a little when the door opens, but when he sees Remus walk through he can't say he's surprised. instead he just sits up on his bed, tosses the device off a little ways away and tries to laugh. tries, but it doesn't really work, and instead he ends up running his fingers through his hair. ]
That where he's been?
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[He sits on his bed, crossing his legs beneath him.]
It's Peter, isn't it. The appearance of Peter.
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He's not taking it well.
[ which is basically entirely speculation, seeing as james hasn't really spoken with sirius much at all. ]
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When has Sirius ever taken anything well?
[He rubs his face.]
Tell me what happened.
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but the truth is Sirius would rather avoid him than talk to him and that doesn't sit well. ]
I went to talk to him. Few days after... [ after Peter arrived, after Sirius stopped talking to him completely. ] Well. He's got his mind made up on the whole bit. Doesn't really want to listen.
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[A rhetorical question.]
He's terrified, James. We all are. And Sirius deals with terror by getting angry.
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[ and he jerks up a bit, pulling his arms off his legs because he just needs to stand. ]
He's terrified, I'm terrified, bloody hell Remus. We're all terrified and there's nothing we can do. But this is Peter, we're talking about here. One of the Marauders, one of my mates, one of yours and Sirius' too and he just-
[ his hands are waving about as he talks, but that's just a nervous james potter for you. has to move, has to keep moving. ]
He hasn't don't anything yet. He's just Pete.
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[He glances away. There's silence for a few seconds, thick and hard to pierce-- and then:]
But he will. And it's no use pretending we don't know, because we do, and-- and as much as I like him now, as much as he's my mate-- I know what he does. And I can't not know.
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[ and this is what gets to James the most, probably the reason his voice rises just a bit. ]
He hasn't, and we know. We all know, and it's complicated and sodding annoying but we know which means now we can fix it. [ and he leaves a moment of silence there, because it's important. deserves that much. ] Something happens to make Peter do what he did, and we might not know what, but something does. And now we can fix it, stop it from happening or change the future. Whatever you want to call it.
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[And, before James can respond:]
Do you know what Sirius did when we found out what happened? He told me. He denied it. He denied it, and then he nearly hit me-- older me-- because he was so, so terrified of a world without you. And I'm just as scared. It's your life, James, yours and Lily's that we're gambling on.
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but it's not. it's lily too, and he flinches when he hears her name. ]
What d'you suppose we do then, Remus? Blame Peter for something he hasn't even done? It's our life, yeah, but it's our life whether we can change it or not. I don't- [ he doesn't want to think about it. doesn't want to think about his ticking clock or the storm-cloud hanging over their heads. ] We can change it. We can, and then none of this will happen at all.
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[Steadily, he meets his eyes.]
And how are we to change it? Peter, please don't betray us and kill off our best friend, that'd be swell?
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The only reason Pete- [ and okay, suddenly that's a lot more difficult to say with Peter actually on board. ] The only reason he'd do that is if someone was threatening him. If he somehow got cornered by Voldemort's followers and his only option- [ no, it still doesn't make sense, but james keeps pushing on. ] If we can protect him from them, he won't give us up. Won't even have the chance.
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[ a pause, probably longer than necessary. ] But then we won't make him secret keeper.
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Make it Dumbledore. Or Sirius. Not me. Not Peter.
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Why not you?
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[He glances down. Hesitates.]
Because Sirius would never break under torture. I can't say the same for me.
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You've got to be joking. [ he moves to sit down next to Remus without really waiting for an answer. ] You go through more pain and agony that any kind of torture I've heard of once a month, Moony. You can't really think of yourself as weak.
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[ he sighs. ] But okay, if you don't- I'm not going to make you. Don't even have a secret yet.
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In the meantime-- what are we going to tell Pete? Are we going to tell him anything?
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[ it comes out a little quick, and james sighs. rubs at his face. ]
I don't want to do any more of this sneaking around with information thing. We're all- [ and with a sudden thought back to his fight with sirius, he amends himself. ] Were the Marauders. We didn't have secrets. And it'll only complicate things more, someone will let something slip and it'll all become a mess.
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[ even with how his stomach screws up just thinking about it. ]
I'll contact him- have a preference when?
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